Can't let go
by Ultraviolet Lemur
Summary: Naruto has started going out with Sakura. Hinata's feelings are deep, perhaps too much so. She needs to let go of him. But she can't.


Just a short and rather sad little song fic, about how Hinata feels about Naruto. Set to the lyrics of Rinse, by Vanessa Carlton. It would help if you listen to the song while you read this, the music really sets the mood well.

* * *

_She'd do anything to sparkle in his eye _

Anyone walking in the park could have seen them, the boy with his wild blonde hair and perpetual grin, and the green eyed girl with short cropped pink hair, cuddling and kissing enthusiastically. And hidden in the trees, someone watching them. She is pale, her dark hair a sharp contrast against her skin, and her lavender-white eyes are sorrowful. The blonde doesn't notice her, he is so wrapped up in here and now. He has never noticed her before, so why should he now? But she always noticed him. She had watched him, his joys, his sorrows, his triumphs. Had watched him ignore her for this pink haired kunoichi, a girl who didn't love him. She did. Why couldn't he see it?

_She would suffer, she would fight, and compromise _

She still remembered, long ago, how he had cheered for her during the chuunin exams. How he had given her the will to go on. How the thought that he cared about her had softened the pain of defeat. He would never know the strength he had given to her. That all through her recovery all she had thought of was him, replaying his words of encouragement in her head. She clenched a fist,. But he had thrown himself away on this, this Sakura! Why? It was so obvious to everyone that she was was infatuated with Sasuke, her silly pink head filled with nothing but thoughts of him. That bitch! How dare she take her Naruto-kun away from her and taunt her like this? She would only hurt him, throw him away the second her beloved Sasuke so much as glanced in her direction. Well let her. When Sakura ran off like the fickle little airhead that she was, she would be there. She would hold him, comfort him, say all the right things. Surely he had to? There was nothing she wouldn't do for him. She would cook the ramen he loved for every meal, hang on to his every word, teach him the secret hyuuga moves if he wished, be there for him always. How could he not love her?

_She's been wishing on the stars that shine so bright  
For answers to the questions that will haunt her tonight _

How she wished that he would see the truth, see how they needed to be together! How could he not see it? Every time he looked into her eyes, how could he not see it reflected there? Her love, her longing, her need for him? It was all there, so clearly! One day he would see it, and he would leave Sakura behind, like so much useless baggage. No, better, she would leave him. He would realize how he had been fooled, and she would be there, to show him true love.

_How she'd be soothed, how she'd be saved if he could see  
She needs to be held in his arms to be free _

She could imagine it now, as she had imagined it so many times. How he would turn, tears in his eyes at being abandoned by the one he thought he loved. He would see her, see real love shining in her eyes, hear it in her voice as she told him how she truly felt about him. He would feel it too, realize that she was the one he had needed for so long, but been unable to see. He would take her into his arms, hold her as she had wanted for so long, and know, truly know, that she was the only one he would ever need.

_She must rinse this all away  
She can't hold him this way _

He was all she ever thought of, all she ever dreamed of, the only boy she would ever look at. She needed him, so much she could feel it, taste it. She would wait for him, forever if need be. How long, how long would it take? Surely it had to happen. She knew it. Deep in her heart she knew it. She knew that Sakura, though it broke her heart now to see him with her, was merely a temporary annoyance. She was too fickle, she didn't really care about him, she was still hung up over another. One day it would be too much for wither of them to stand, and she would be gone. It was the only thing that kept her sane. And still, it hurt so much, having to watch the two together, off in their own little world, thinking of nothing but each other. He never saw anything but her now.

_And if she runs away she fears she won't be followed  
What could be the worse than leaving something behind  
And as the depth of oceans slowly become shallow  
It's loneliness she finds... _

Watching them together made her feel cold, but she couldn't stop. She had to see him, even with someone else. She just had to see him, to watch the way he moved, the way he breathed, the way he ran a hand through his hair and grinned.

_If only he were mine_

She needed him.

_She must rinse him._

Needed his touch on her skin, the sound of his voice in her ear, the feel of him against her,

_She must rinse him._

Needed the taste of his lips on hers.

_She can't rinse him._

Needed it.

_She can't, she won't, she must rinse him ._

Needed it so badly it hurt.

_She can't, she won't, she must rinse him._

Hurt_  
She must rinse this all away_

So_  
She can't hold him this way_

Much._  
She must rinse this all away  
She can't love him this way_

So she waited, silently watching him. And so she would smile politely and wave at Sakura as she passed her on the street, as though they were friends. She would wait. She would wait forever for him. She would do anything for him. For just one moment with him. No matter how long, she would wait. For the thing she needed, the thing she lived for. For him.

_She can't love him this way_


End file.
